A Slice of Bittersweet Melon
by Literate
Summary: Drabble Collection. Doors slamming, things flying, tears pooling, words fighting, this is a slice of bittersweet melon, a mere glimpse of their insane relationship. TamaXHika.
1. Like Hell

Haha... This pairing is so damn fun to write...

_Anyway_. First pairing other than HikaXKao that I'm writing. (Well, not technically first, but first in my archive.) I just randomly wrote a poem about TamaXHika, and... it inspired this. I plan to write a whole list of drabbles about this crack pairing.

Warning: While it's canon T right now, I can't say that I'd stick to the same thing each drabble. Basically, Hikaru's swearing and Tamaki's weird fantasys.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran. Or else there'd be tons of hints of tons of pairings everywhere.

* * *

_Like Hell_

: a way to describe the way they make and break their relationship

* * *

"Y-You bakatono! Like _hell_ I'm going to do that!"

Kaoru sweat dropped as the book defied gravity and swerved, instantly hitting Tamaki in the head making him crumple to the floor. Kyouya stood quietly, making notes of the damages to certain hosts made by certain hosts as Hikaru dropped the backpack he was about to throw and noticed the king lying on the floor pathetically.

"Stupid lord," he scoffed, stomping off in a mad rage, the music room doors slamming closed.

The rest of the host club moved in, their attentive eyes on the twitching junior.

"Ne, Tama-chan," Hani poked at the other blonde, pushing Usa-chan into his unconscious face. His mouth foamed a little. Hani turned towards Mori, chirping happily, "I think Tama-chan is dead!"

"H-Hani-senpai," Kaoru placed a hand on the smaller male's shoulder, rubbing his forehead with the other, aggravated, "He's… not dead."

At that, Hani lit up, "Ah! He has to eat cake now to feel better!"

The senior ran off to the back pantry, where hopefully, he was _not_ raiding next month's reserves.

Haruhi deadpanned the scene, "…So… Who thinks they should stop it?"

"Haruhi, that question's useless, you know that," Kaoru said, slightly tired and annoyed, crossing his arms, "They can't _stop_."

Haruhi nodded, almost knowingly, "Ah, but, seeing him knocked unconscious every time he makes a wrong move… isn't that too much?"

"It is. Their relationship causes quite a scene," Kyouya marked another note in his notebook, "Nothing moe or appealing about it."

His pen made another jab at the paper before he snapped his book closed.

"Besides, it would be even more hell if they do break up."

Kaoru glanced at him, nodding in agreement.

"OKAASAN!" Tamaki suddenly jumped up, his eyes shining with tears, practically choking his friend, "Don't talk about us like that, Kyouya! It'd come true if you do!"

He stared in reply, before slapping the blonde off onto the floor where he fell with an 'oof!' He adjusted his tie sophisticatedly, his eyes closing, "Like I said, _hell_."

The other hosts had enough grace to sweatdrop.

* * *

"Hikaru, can you forgive me for being so insensitive to your feelings earlier?"

The elder Hitachiin flinched, amplifying his angry waves at a fixed spot on the side of the wall.

"No," his said stubbornly.

"… You mean, you'll agree?"

"There's no way in _hell_ would I listen to you and your damn daydreams."

"But, but, Hikaru!"

Hikaru turned away from him, plugging up his ears with his fists.

Tamaki sprang onto the Hitachiin quickly, before letting go and jabbing a finger at him with authority, "I _demand_ you, as your father!"

"You're not my freakin' father, milord," he retorted loudly, as Tamaki sucked in a disbelieving breath, "And you're not allowed to say _temporary parent guardian_."

Tamaki cried large balls of tears, wailing loudly, just as Hikaru closed his eyes and hummed, _I don't know him I don't know him I don't know him_.

"But Hikaru! You _agreed_ before!"

A vein popped on Hikaru's head, as he whipped around again.

"That was _before_!"

"But, I _still_ want you…" Tamaki whimpered, staring into Hikaru's death glare unflinchingly.

(Tamaki probably doesn't notice he's death glaring though.)

"Please?" Tamaki put on his best puppy eyes as he kneeled in front of him, "Please? Please, Hikaru-chan?"

…Hikaru-_chan_?

Tamaki perked up slightly, as Hikaru froze, entirely still.

"… Hikaru-chan?" he asked hopefully again, and he widened his eyes, in shock, "Hikaru-chan? Did- DID YOU JUST DIE ON ME-"

"FINE, I'LL GO!"

Tamaki stopped crying, peeking at the freshman with teary eyes, "…You… You will?"

Hikaru's face was burning red, as he crossed his arms, averting his eyes, "Yes, I will go to your stupid junior's dance as your date."

Tamaki's eyes shined hopefully, "And?"

"And…" Hikaru murmured inaudibly, his cheeks flaring, "And… I'll wear the dress."

"Yay!" Tamaki shouted, shooting from the ground and tackling his boyfriend with a firm hug, "I love you, Hikaru-chan."

Hikaru frowned slightly at the stupid nickname, "… I hate you too, milord."

"Hikaru! You can't hate me! You _can't_!"

"Yes, I can!"


	2. Unrequited Hate

:D I personally love Tamaki and Hikaru's interactions even though it's probably canonly impossible of getting them together. They're still love. -huggles-

Btw, the poem in this is actually the poem that inspired the entire pairing drabbles collections. I didn't see the reason for incorporating it into the first drabble, because it was not relevent. Also, these are _drabbles_ so keep in mind that there might be some AU from time to time, although most of these might be from different times in the canon timeline. :D

Warning: T for mild (actually quite a bit) of wearing, lots of Tamaki dramatics (I find it fun to write), and a short, brief kiss. But, then I'd be spoiling things for you. :3

Disclaimer: I am not the genious who came up with the series. I am simply the person who puts canon on crack. :D

* * *

_Unrequited Hate_

: because Hikaru doesn't know how to love and Tamaki doesn't know how to hate

* * *

He tapped a pen against his blank paper, being deathly quiet, as if making _any_ sound would make the ticking time bomb next to him blow up.

Hikaru really needed to get a control of his emotions. When Kaoru suggested that he might need someone to help him into the world, he didn't expect that Tamaki would make it even worse.

"Kaoru…"

"Hmm?"

"Milord's stupid," he grumbled, crossing his left leg over the other, before declaring, "He doesn't know what's in front of his face at all."

A shadowed figure in the corner flinched, as tears poured even faster down his cheeks.

Kaoru moved his hazel eyes to said small figure, the one drawing little weird doodles into the marble wall. Kyouya stood behind him, adjusting his glasses as he marked another note into his notebook.

Tamaki really needed to stop being dramatic. When Kyouya suggested that he might need someone else to fawn over, he didn't expect that Hikaru would make it even worse.

"Kyouya… Hikaru-chan hates me-"

"Stop calling me Hikaru-chan! It's stupid!"

_Degrading, you mean_, Kaoru corrected mentally, rolling his eyes at his twin's immature speech patterns.

"-and Hikaru called me stupid!"

Hikaru scoffed, kneading a fist into his temple, muttering strings of curses under his breath.

"And he just used the words forbidden to our mouths-"

A vein popped.

"JUST SHUT UP!"

The younger twin simply looked between the pair, tapping his pen against his cheek, moving his eyes between his aggravated brother and overdramatic lord.

"But, I _must_-"

"That's why you should just _shut your mouth_!"

"Tamaki, I suggest you listen before he decides to throw that chair at you."

"But, Kyouya-" Tamaki turned to Hikaru desperately, tears in his eyes, "Hikaru, I'm just thinking the best for my son-"

"THAT'S WHY I HATE YOU!"

Silence, a large doom sound echoed through the background as Hikaru eyed the speaker murderously.

Tamaki lost all color, falling to the ground as if the very words winded him.

Kyouya stopped writing, and glanced at the Hitachiin curiously, ignoring the twitching pile of white near him.

"Cheh."

Kaoru looked at his brother, warily, cautiously, "…Hikaru?"

"Let's go home, Kaoru," he said, almost calmed miraculously, "I don't want to see him again today."

"Ah, soka, we'll go," Kaoru said quickly, not wanting to get on his twin's bad side.

Hikaru shot a death glare at Tamaki, who instantly flinched and hid behind Kyouya, tears streaking down his face dramatically, clinging onto his pant sleeve for dear life.

"Disgusting."

And then something clicked, as Kaoru smiled, following his elder brother out of the room.

* * *

Can I tell you that I hate you?

Can I say that I'm displeased?

Can I mention that it's not that hard-

-and should be done with ease?

Can I tell you that I hate you?

Can I show you why I do?

Can I demonstrate just once-

-and let your lustful feelings through?

Can I tell you that I hate you?

Can I say _that's not enough_?

Can you tell that it makes no sense-

-and that your love is just not rough?

Can I tell you that I hate you?

Can I show you what I want?

Can you tell that I'm an idiot-

-and that it's not what _you _want?

Can you tell me why you love me?

Can you tell me that you do?

Can I tell you that I hate you-

-that it's really, _really_ true?

* * *

"So…" Hikaru's bored eyes were fixed on the other's shoulder, an annoyed glare beginning to set in, "Why did you take me out of class, milord?"

Tamaki didn't answer and closed the classroom door quietly. The junior kept tactfully silent, as the Hitachiin intensified his indifferent gaze.

"Well, milord," Hikaru deadpanned, his hand reaching for the doorknob, "If it's not anything-"

Tamaki gripped Hikaru's arm as he slammed the freshman against the door, muffling his protests with his forceful lips. Hikaru blinked rapidly, his mind caught in a wild frenzy, as Tamaki's tongue licked, prodding itself through his lips, lashing, strong. His arm crept around Hikaru's waist, pressing him against his younger boyfriend, the strong muscle running along his molars. The junior adjusted their position on the door, before brushing his tongue to the side of his mouth.

Suddenly, Tamaki pulled away, leaving a slightly breathless freshman staring at him, half blown away, _half-satisfied_.

And Tamaki was feeling damn successful now.

"What… How…?" his hazel eyes searched, completely confused, "How did you know… that I wanted to-"

Smirking slightly, Tamaki pulled out a piece of paper victoriously, "You told me!"

Hikaru blinked once, stating bluntly, "But… I didn't tell you anything."

The king deflated, falling to the floor with a pop. Hikaru plucked the piece of paper from his hands, opening up the crisp sheets to read the words.

"Milord… you've known me for _two years_; how the hell do you manage to mistake Kaoru for _me?_"

Tamaki didn't answer; he simply slumped in a half-daze, frantic words running through his mind-

'_What if I did something wrong?! What if Hikaru found that act intrusive?! What if he had not wished for it to happen at all and his devil brother just wanted to anger his poor twin even more and create a comedy love drama and manipulate me into going against Hikaru's wishes and dreams-_

Hikaru simply folded the letter crisply, pocketing it into his blazer, before retreating into his classroom, leaving his boyfriend lying outside the door in a thought-absorbed haze.

"I should thank Kaoru."

_-and he wishes that we abstain for any contact for the rest of high school? What if he'll hate me for doing this one act, and if he takes it against him and he'll never respond to my feelings ever again and yell at me for the rest of our relationship, because I would probably not find anything that he'd love me for and we'll be together even though our love is unrequited and it'll be like this for ever and ever and ever-'_

_-and…_

Tamaki looked up, facing a completely empty hallway, "Hikaru?"

Gone. Away. Disappeared. (Went back to class.)

Tamaki dropped his jaw in anguish before howling to the entire building-

"HIKARU'S LEFT ME!"

Inside the classroom, Haruhi sweatdropped, as Hikaru fumbled with his pencil, the eraser end in his mouth.

"Hikaru… did you leave him hanging again?"

Kaoru penned something in his journal, smiling inconspicuously, as Hikaru nodded.

"Mm-hmm."


	3. Love in Numbers

Okay. So, this quiz doesn't actually exist in real life, and isn't so good anyway... (but I would believe it works. :D Well, sorta anyway.) Don't try this quiz youself. It may be wrong.

It just works in Hikaru's situation. :3 Which is as well, because there's no other way.

Warning: Nothing much. Slightly hints of brotherly love-ness, but you know that the twins are always like that.

Disclaimer: Dun own Ouran. Do own the weird quiz that's here. Don't steal it, 'cuz it won't work.

* * *

_Love in Numbers_

: the only way Hikaru was ever going to believe he was in love

* * *

"Hikaru, Kaoru?" Haruhi poked.

"Hmm?"

The twins didn't move from their positions on the couch. Hikaru was a bit too comfortable pressing his sleeping twin close to him— besides, they were still brothers and Hikaru didn't need an excuse to lie against his unprotected twin.

Haruhi sidled closer to them, before glancing around the third music room cautiously, hiding something behind her.

Hikaru blinked, sitting up and letting Kaoru fall onto his lap.

"Here, Hikaru," Haruhi handed him a rolled up magazine, shifting her eyes around the room again, "Mei-chan heard about your "situation," so…"

The elder twin stared dumbly at the "Teen's Daily!" plastered on the shoujo magazine, the amount of pink assaulting his senses.

"Haruhi," he looked up at her, gloom swirling around his head, "Why did you-"

"It'll help you, she said," Haruhi said quickly, smiling like she didn't want to be there, "But I have to do my homework now- bye, Hikaru."

The door slammed loudly, as Kaoru blinked his eyes groggily. Hikaru hid the magazine behind him-

"Hikaru, what was-"

"Nothing, Kaoru, nothing- just go back to sleep! I have to go somewhere!"

Kaoru stared as Hikaru dashed out of the room at lightning-speed, before shrugging and tailed his twin out of the empty room.

_Hikaru! I heard that you and Tamaki-san have gotten together! Congratulations!_

'_What's so good about that?' _Hikaru thought, annoyed. He shifted uncomfortably in the small space, before moving his mini flashlight to the next line.

_Okay, I figured out how to help you! You see, page 25 has this great quiz that tests out how much you love someone! Check it if you feel like your relationship isn't going so great_-

"Ow," he flinched, before rubbing his back and glaring daggers at the broom that lay innocently on the floor.

_So, gambatte! And if you need more help, ask me for more different kinds of quizzes_.

_--Mei XD_

He stared. Should he take her advice or not? After all, what if this permanently glues him to Tamaki? He didn't want that, but- He was oh, so curious!

He flipped to the quiz, scanning the words.

_Before you look at the answer key, you have to _completely_ answer the question. And this is a foolproof question that rates your love for your special someone. So, get out a pen, and enjoy_.

Hikaru fumbled for a pen before moving his flashlight down and finding that one question:

_List as many facts as you can about your lover._

He stared, before smiling- oh-kay, he could do this; writing facts about that stupid Tamaki was easy as pie.

And as Kaoru leaned against the janitor closet, Hikaru scribbled on the page.

* * *

"_Are_?" Tamaki blinked, staring at the lone coffee table, a magazine placed as conspicuously as possible on top of it. It was opened to a page murdered by pen scribbles and was close to tearing, "What's this?"

He picked it up delicately.

_List as many facts as you can about your lover..._

He blinked innocently and began to read down the chicken scratch of the writing.

_He's stupid._

_An idiot._

_Doesn't know when to do things._

_Ignorant._

_Weird._

_Drama queen._

_Obsessed with girls and their happiness._

_Is blonde._

_Is half-French._

_Is in second-year._

_Has a mean grandmother._

_Friends with Kyouya-senpai._

_Hell, friends with everyone._

_Can't tell us apart._

_Dense._

_VERY expressive._

_Has hugs that could kill._

_Obsessed with Haruhi._

_Obsessed over me._

_Has a bear named Kuma-chan. Not a real one. Got it from his mother when he left France._

_Randomly speaks in French when around Kyouya-senpai or me._

_Has a damn long French name that I forgot._

_I think his face is forever warped to smile._

_Blissfully ignorant to the hardships of the world. (Haruhi told me this)_

_Ramen is his anti-depressant._

_VERY shy about everything but proclamations of love._

_Tends to brush at his hair a lot._

_Always tells the truth, even if the truth skins him alive._

_Has about twenty different dramatic poses._

_Dense. (shoot, listed this one already…) –scratches out- Doesn't know love until it hits him in the face._

_Can _somewhat_ tell us apart._

_Somewhat respectful._

_Knows how to make people smile._

_Deflates when I call him an idiot._

_Eccentric enough to flail in happiness about everything._

_I think he has a picture of me in his wallet. At least, that's what Kaoru told me._

_Host Club President._

_Smile, too bright._

_Second in his class._

_Narrow-minded._

_Immature._

_VERY open._

_Hates stairs._

_Has a thing about people he loves crossdressing._

_Pretty good kisser if I push him hard enough._

_Very innocent. (I'd like to screw this one day.)_

_Has weird fantasies._

_Still an idiot._

_Is gay (with me)._

_Definitely uke. :D_

Tamaki stared, wondering whether to take these compliment/insults to heart—after all, surely whatever Hikaru said of him was _completely _true!

'_Oh, wait, there's more…_'

He scrolled down, his violet eyes staring at the book.

_If you have listed ten facts or less, then it's unlikely that you love him. (You don't know much about him.)_

_If you have listed twenty or less facts, then you need to get to know them better; who knows, you could go either way with this._

_If you have listed forty facts or more, congratulations, but you are one of the few who know them by heart; you love them _a lot. :D

His eyes darted down to the last of the penned words.

… _I'm going to kill you, Mei._


	4. Pride and Destruction

Aha. Took a while; thought I should've done the second part before posting this, but it doesn't matter. I seem to involve Kaoru too much. -blah- I'll stop that now. xP

I _swear_, next drabble involves Tamaki and Kyouya. I swear.

Warnings: Okay, I'm setting this at a _strong_ T. It won't get any worse than that. It has Hikaru swearing freely, abuse of poor cloth, and Kaoru... er, _talking_. Typical Hitachiin talking, hinting, _strong_ hinting. Oh, and maybe humor. Maybbe. Oh, and hints of KyouXKao. Might make them get together later; might not. This is a TamaXHika drabble collection, _not _KyouXKao.

Disclaimer: Dun own anything. Just the idea, and the writing in general. xP

* * *

_Pride and Destruction_

: the thing that Hikaru's trying to protect and the same thing that ruins him in the end

* * *

Hikaru was on a mission.

A very important mission.

A mission like no other.

He held the piece of fabric firmly between his fingers as the sewing machine drilled a long even pattern into it.

In the same instant, he took it off, snapping the large fabric scissors as he sliced through the fabric again, before hemming the jagged edges with a furious air.

This mission was imperative to his _life_; he _had_ to be successful, or else he shall be ridiculed for years on end…

"Damn that stupid bakatono- damn him- damn him-" he growled, displeased with how the events was playing out in his head.

He hated it. He hated him.

And why?

For… the said fabric… was _pink_.

"Hikaru…?" Kaoru poked into their study room, his curious hazel eyes blinking at the dark scene. Petals of lavender and pink fabric lied around haphazardly, many of the ragged cloth thick and threaded enough to trip someone. Hikaru was crouched over the sewing machine, feeding the fabric through the needle, the lone light above him shimmering with a dramatic glow.

_Click_

"What are you doing not getting ready for your dance?"

Hikaru flinched. Kaoru simply removed his hand from the light switch.

"You know, milord's been ecstatic about this for a long while," he said calmly, walking up to his semi-nervous, semi-annoyed twin, "I heard he wanted to proclaim that you guys are going out-"

The sewing machine went haywire.

Hikaru smacked a fist against the malfunctioning machine, tearing the bright pink fabric away from the thread-clogged needle. He shifted his deadly glare onto his twin brother, who blinked innocently in response.

"Go on," he growled, before giving a last yank, and tearing off half the fabric.

"What are you doing, Hikaru?" Kaoru piped up, confused to as why Hikaru was currently swearing at the rag in his hands.

"Adjusting."

"Adjusting what?"

"The stupid dress milord gave to me," he mumbled dismissively, as Kaoru's eyes widened-

"But, _why_?"

"Why not?" Hikaru retorted.

"It- It was _perfect_ on you!" Kaoru exclaimed incredulously,

"It didn't fit," Hikaru complained again, waving the blatantly pink cloth around.

"But the measurements _can't_ be off! I gave it to him myself!"

Pause. Hikaru's eyes widened.

"WHAT!" he spluttered out, standing so quickly that his chair fell down with a crash. He grabbed his brother's shirt, the fabric clenching between his fists, as his eyes flashed madly, "You- Kaoru, you _traitor!_ You _knew_ that I didn't want to go to that freakin' dance!"

"Hey, hey, calm down, Hikaru," he sweat dropped, prying his twin's hands off his formerly nicely ironed shirt, "I was only thinking of your social life—I mean, you'd make a bigger statement if you went there in a _dress_."

Hikaru slumped onto the ground, "But, _Kaoru_, I don't _want_ to make a freakin' _statement_! People would think I'm insane, crazy, and _gay_."

He emphasized his last words with frantic waves, staring up at his twin expectantly. Kaoru _hmm_ed thoughtfully for a moment, before raising a finger and stating bluntly-

"But you are."

The elder twin fell into even more of a depression, burying his face into his arms.

"I thought you were on my side, Kaoru…"

Kaoru only smiled mysteriously, before kneeling down at his obviously distressed brother. He patted his twin comfortingly, objecting lightly, "But, what's wrong with crossdressing? We've been doing that since we were kids."

"But that's the _point_, Kaoru," he murmured, "_We_ crossdressed. Not just Hikaru; not just me…"

Kaoru's smile twisted into a slight frown, "But I can't do anything about that; then everyone would think that milord was with _both_ Hitachiin twins." Hikaru shuddered as the smile blossomed on Kaoru's face again, "You don't want people to think that, do you?"

"… Just go and date Kyouya-senpai; then you'd have a reason to be there."

Kaoru froze, his wide eyes meeting Hikaru's challenging ones.

They stared at each other for a while.

"Besides, you told me you've been thinking about it for a while now," Hikaru deadpanned, his eyes pressing stubbornly at his twin, "You just never wanted to unless I was out of the way-"

"Enough about me and my not yet budding relationship, Hikaru! This thing is about you and milord's relationship- not mine! _Anyway_, I think we should repair this dress to the best of our abilities!" Kaoru tugged away the ragged dress-cloth-thing, and stood up, hopping over to his own sewing machine, humming loudly to forcibly ignore Hikaru and his slurred profanities.

* * *

"It looks like shit. _I_ look like shit."

"It's not too bad, Hikaru," Kaoru replied calmly, winking an eye closed, examining his very displeased brother with a calculated hazel, "I mean, your murdered all the pink fabric so I _had_ to improvise."

Hikaru simply stared into the mirror, running a hand through his light brown hair.

Like Kaoru said, the dress wasn't too bad. Since Hikaru had destroyed any traces of the frills in his anger, Kaoru had to make due with black denim. Yes, you heard that, _denim_. The rough cloth was stitched in carefully, mixing together with the silky pink; the "dress" was now a super long shirt- of sort, the bottom of the cloth reaching the back of his mid-thighs, anchored onto his hips by a sparkly-ish belt. And since Kaoru _was_ the conservative type ("everyone can see your underpants under that thing"), Hikaru was also wearing a pair of _very thin, see-through _black dress pants.

Small designs of swirls were stitched into it as well, alternating black and pink threads, and for some reason Hikaru wanted his twin to stop staring at him.

"What- you don't like it, Hikaru?"

He shook his head, before threading his fingers through the soft silk.

No, of _course_, he didn't like it!

It made him look _feminine_.

The Hitachiin twins were _not_ feminine.

"But it looks good," Kaoru spouted happily, wrapping his arms around his still slightly flustered twin, "I bet milord would like it, slipping his hands into those nice loose pants and-"

Hikaru huffed, his face staining red, before scoffing, "I wish."

Kaoru blanked out for a second, "… what?"

The elder twin crossed his arms, "You heard me; the idiot likes talking more than touching."

That made Kaoru stop for a moment.

"So you've been going out for half a year and you've never did _anything_?"

"We've kissed," and suddenly Hikaru began counting on his fingers, before raising his hands, "About seven times."

"Hikaru, you have a _big_ problem. I didn't know that milord was _that_ dense."

Hikaru rolled his eyes, "Tell me about it. Doesn't know when to take a hint."

"Ah, well," Kaoru slapped his brother carelessly on the back, "That's the Hitachiin _specialty_; you can't fail us now, Hikaru."

"… What the hell are you talking about, Kaoru?"


End file.
